Just when you think...

That you have failed as a mother something happens that just melts your heart and makes you so very thankful to be where you are. Today and yesterday Bug was not feeling well. His little sad eyes have been breaking my heart. I have done everything in my power to remember its just a cold and colds happen but I have prided myself on the fact that Hunter has never been sick.

Anyways, we hate the booger picker around here. You know the ones. Big orange bulb looking things the hospital sends home with new mommies. I have had to use it multiple times a day for his runny nose. Usually, he protests but is a really good sport. Usually, until today. Today he fought me and cried big fat crocodile tears before finally going limp and just crying with no sound. Here I am, holding down my 7 month old son and begging him to calm down. I am in tears, even though I know it is for his own good. When I am done and he is just spent I scoop him up and we go to our favorite chair and I just whisper over and over, "Mommy is here. Mommy is here."

After a couple of minutes he finds his favorite place under my chin and falls into the worlds deepest baby sleep.

And then I smile.

It's hard. The things we have to do as parents are tough. && because of it we have to be tough as nails. Hard and strict and full of love. As I'm making Bug miserable it was easy to think I am not doing anything right. When he was happy and comfortable I thought to myself, " Hey, you are doing this! We are doing this. & best of all no one told us how. No one told me when and how to use that mean old booger picker. No one told me just how to rock that sweet boy to sleep when he needs his Momma most.

This things all come from my love of that boy. A love that started the minute I saw the plus sign. A love that grew the first time I heard his heartbeat, and felt the first flutter. A love that knows no bounds, and has been rock solid since the first time I heard him cry.

I am a mother. I will be his first everything and he will be my heart forever. We will tackle the cold monsters together.

All is well in he Watkins house...

At least for the night.