Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Letters to Hunter- 22 Months

My little big man,

Where do I start with you? You want to know what I can hear right now. Through the monitor and across the house you are in your room, supposed to be napping. What I hear however, are the sounds of you playing. "Reading" books, and climbing on and off your big boy bed. Sometimes I hear it get quiet and I know you have fallen asleep in front of the door, curled up on your blanket and clutching your sip pie cup or whatever toy you had been playing with.

Just an hour ago, I watched you take my keys from the car, walk up the walk and count the steps as you climbed them. Then you found the key and attempted to put it in the lock. How fast your little brain is working! I remember smiling as you practically skipped up the walkway that I always wanted to remember that moment. Watching my little boy be as big as he knew how to be.

You literally amaze me everyday with what you have learned when I wasn't looking. Whether it be a new shape, or word or funny phrase. Last night before my tennis class, you would grab your "ball" and tell Daddy, "Dada sit." You would tell him to "catch" and then grab his finger and have him follow you, saying "come here, get it" when it would get tossed out of reach. You are putting sentences together!! How wild is that?

I'm finding it a little hard to keep up with you. To be fair you are a wild man. You have such a willful attitude. You know what you want. Everyone calls you "Rambo" for rambunctious. I have never seen so much persistence in a little one. I am thankful for that, even if it's hard now. I pray you are a leader, not a follower. I want you to be strong in your convictions, always ready to stand up for what you believe in. I am proud already of that trait I see in you.

As wild as you are you are also so incredibly sweet. One of my favorite things you have been doing lately is your sweetness at bedtime. Daddy always gets you your juice, then he tells you to ho give Mommy & Sister a kiss. You run and kiss Sissy, then me, and sometimes Sissy again. & then Daddy tucks you in. Sometimes you ask one of us to lay down with you. You pat the bed or your pillow. Granted, its probably an attempt to milk a few extra minutes before bedtime, but watching that little hand touching the pillow pleading for us to stay is too much. I always oblige you, and lay down for a minute. Sometimes you want me to play with your hair or rub your arm. Sometimes you just want to lay your hands on mine while you drink your juice. & then always, always you wave and say "night, night" as we walk away.

& the next morning, I love hearing you call for Mama from across the house.

You are such joy to raise. Just when I think I am taking on too much, and being a terrible mother you show me how much you love me and recharge my spirit. In teaching you manner, and about the Lord I am finding so much joy. I know that is my number one purpose as your mother, to train you to be a servant and a loving, giving man. I hope I am doing that. I hope that your fierce personality and sweet temperament span into your adult life.

I have this feeling I will be watching you with awe as you love your wife and children one day, so incredibly proud of who you have become. Right now however, I am completely content to watch you learn to do puzzles and spell tiny words. Keep learning sweet boy! To the moon and back...


-Mama

Letters to Haddie- 4 Months

My sweet precious Hadley,

I am pretty sure you just woke up a couple of weeks ago and decided "newborn" wasn't your style. Gone were the days of you laying around, patiently waiting for someone to entertain you. You want to go, you want to move. You are a constant reminder of how very much I need to perfect my art of multi-tasking. I hold you. Cooking dinner, eating dinner, reading a book, writing this blog. You love to be snuggled, but only as long as you can see your world. No laying down for you! Your big blue eyes take in everything, from your wild and crazy brother-bear to Momma and Daddy as we go about our business. Your little body can be so tired, but you would be fighting sleep. Always afraid to miss something, my little curious girl.

You have really completed our family Haddie Jo. You came at such a strange time for your Daddy. Your Nanny had taken a turn for the worse, but God sent you, our little angel to remind us all how beautiful life can be. & with you, it has been. I delight in seeing your big wide eyes every morning. I love that you sleep with us for the last part of the night, curled up under my arm and right next to my belly. I love that some mornings I open my eyes to find your tiny fingers splayed across my chest, close to my heart. & I love, love, love that sweet baby smell. You add a special warmth to Mommy & Daddy's bed that could never be replicated.

I am cherishing every moment we spend nursing. I have to remind myself that we worked so very hard to get where we are, and I am so thankful you were a patient learner and an even stronger fighter. We knew what we wanted and look at us now! We spend a couple times a day, holed up in a comfy chair just getting to know one another. It's invaluable time that I have to sit still for a moment and just be with you. It's a moment I can watch your little lashes as you finally nod off to sleep. Sometimes you aren't tired. Sometimes its a battle to get you to eat, you are so happy. More often than not you spend your time eating breaking your latch in big gummy grins. Those are without a doubt my favorite smiles. Milk dribbling out, you are in a state of pure bliss. & the feeling is mutual my girl.

I know that you are growing. I can see it every day in the new things you learn, your excited new expressions and your fierce personality that is coming to light. I know it, but my heart simply aches at the thought of losing my little baby girl. Part of me is so thrilled for the days of doing "Mommy & Me" things. Baking in the kitchen, being crafty together, getting our nails done, picking out the perfect party dress. Another part of me wants you forever like this, chunky and sweet and completely mine. Before you grow up and the world takes you I hope you know you were incredibly cherished just as you are.  I always said I would never call my girls, "Princess." but that is definitely what you are sweet babe. My perfect, pretty Princess. Even if God had let me custom pick a baby, there is none other that could be as wonderful as you. He knew exactly what he was doing when he sent us you. To the moon and back my little one...


-Mommy