Let's be real. I've been at this "Mom" thing for almost 6 months. now. Little man will be the big 6 months in 13 days. Holy mess. He has been in our lives for half a year and it has flown by, and it has taken me the whole six months to realize something. Motherhood is nothing like what you think, or anyone else explains it will be. Nothing. Let me elaborate.
When I got pregnant I was so very excited. I was ready that night to go buy books, and toys, and clothes. The 14 weeks we had to wait to find out that he was a he just crawled by. I wanted to go shopping! I wanted to stock his closet with everything a baby would need.
All this made me have these ideas. Ideas of a natural childbirth. Low lighting, no medicines, leaving the baby with me as long as possible. Water birth and breathing techniques. He would successfully breastfeed for at least 6 months, and hopefully up to a year. Then of course we would take him home and put him in his pristine nursery. Completely stocked, and ready for our little one. He would sleep peacefully in his crib every night, while we got 8 hours of sleep (okay, so maybe I didn't actually believe that one...but in a perfect world...). He would fit snugly in all his clothes, and be a happy, warm, well rounded baby. All milestones would be hit when the ought to be. We would go out on shopping adventures, and he would calmly watch me shop. I would shower every morning, and have time to not only do my hair, but also my makeup and put together outfits from my pre pregnancy closet.
Well let me tell you guys something. It is nothing like that. I had an emergency c-section at 41 weeks pregnant. He did nurse, but had an awful latch due to tongue tie and had to be clipped at two weeks old. I had overactive let down and he was drowning every time. We were lucky to make it to 4 months. I can never find where I put the box of wipes, and sometimes the diapers. Hunter does not sleep through the night every night. Our big accomplishment is that he sleeps in his bed every night, and most nights puts himself to sleep. He is always running out of clothes that fit, and most always is puking on something, leaving me doing constant laundry. He does (thankfully) hit milestones when he should. Thank goodness for something I don't have to worry about. As for shopping, and showering and relaxing, none of that happens like you think. I am not able to get ready every morning and sometimes I can't find a single thing to wear or a single tube of lipstick.
But you know what, I love it. I love every single hectic moment. I have learned that you do the best for yourself and your baby, and you breathe through it. Hunter fell and bumped his head the other day. I almost had a heart attack. I am rocking my screaming baby boy, and thinking to myself "how am I ever going to deal with the BIG bumps and bruises?" Seriously, I mean I do everything I can to be supermom and it almost never comes together. I know there will be times when I miss him when he falls and he will get hurt. Times when I forget to pack a sandwich in his lunch or make him late to ball practice.And all of that is okay! I know in my heart we will all be just fine. I just keep looking forward, pray every day and give him and his Daddy 200%. It all works itself out in the end.
I cannot be a perfect mom, but I can give them every little piece of me and love them unconditionally. I think we are off to a pretty good start!
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