& Our Story Continues

As 2014 draws near, you can't help but reflect on the past. 365 days. 365 chances to make incredible memories, and soak them up. I think that I can speak for our family of four, and say that we did that.

January, coming into 2013 we took our first trip as a family. We enjoyed a couple of days in the mountains, giving Hunter his first taste of snow, and our first taste of road-tripping with baby. I learned that I am not a skiier, or snowboarder for that matter. I do however, know how to hold down a bleacher with a hot cup of chocolate in my hand.

 

 

February, my sister and I got big into the gym. & it was on the way to it one morning that I realized I might be pregnant. It was in that gym bathroom that I just couldn't wait and took a pregnancy test. & it was in that gym that it hit me. We are going to be parents again. Holy crap. I told Brock a couple of days before Valentines, spent weeks soaking that up as well as celebrating his birthday and V-Day. We loved knowing about baby #2 and I spent more than a couple of moments crazy in love {{yes already}} with my second child. But, Hunter's birthday was coming up and that brings us to...



March, we told our families. They were of course very excited. Hunter got his first hair-cut this month, officially turning into a little man. The end of the month we announced that were were expecting! We celebrated Easter with big plans, our first Easter basket, and a sweet pair of red sunglasses.



April, our big boy turned ONE! We enjoyed having our friends and family around us celebrating one of the biggest moments of my life, Hunter's birth! We also planted a huge family garden and got chickens, and spent a lot of hot days putting up fences, planting beans and crossing our fingers for fast growth.



May, Hunter started walking and the pace of our lives picked up. We also found out something you already know, our sweet little babe was a girl! The daughter I had prayed for. We were on cloud nine. A perfect little boy and a sister on the way...Can the year get any better? The garden started producing and we started getting eggs. Summer was in full swing, and we were loving it!

In June, I found out that it could. I was thrilled to take our first beach vacation as a family. We went to Tybee Island with our friends/family the Spears. Hunter hated sleeping in the condo, but his crying was worth it the first morning we got up as the sun was rising and took a walk to the beach. I cried like a baby watching my baby see the sand and waves for the first time. He was thrilled and I was thrilled watching him. I'll never forget him holding his Daddy's hands and letting the waves crash into his little feet for the first time, and the huge smile on his face as experienced it. Pure wonder. & totally amazing.

July, Turns out that 2013 was a year of firsts. For some ungodly reason we took our first camping trip together one of the hottest weeks of the year with me 24 weeks pregnant. Note to self: Get pregnant in the Summer next time. Being that pregnant in the Summer just ain't fittin. We also celebrated my nieces first birthday & started to realize just how fast our kids were growing. & last but not least we celebrated our 2nd anniversary.

August, My baby sister got married. We planned, and planned and argued, and planned but the day came and went and it in spite of the rain it was beautiful. Most importantly, she was beautiful & she was happy and I gained a brother in law and a nephew in the deal. {{Aren't I lucky?}}

September, Wait. Life is fast. Wasn't it just February? September was fairly laid back. We were enjoying the last few months with Hunter as an only child. I had a beautiful shower thrown by some amazing friends and family and we staretd counting the days till we got to meet our Haddie.

October, It was here. The month that we would meet our daughter. We spent the days staying busy, taking Hunter to the Zoo, and getting another yes, another haircut, and other things to bide our time. I started gearing myself up for a long wait, but our darling girl made her appearance on the 19th, a couple days before her due date. We were perfectly smitten and still are. & then came Halloween and before we knew it she was almost a month old. Where does the time go? We also Hadley's namesake, Betty Joyce Watkins. A beautiful, kind, loving woman, who taught me a lot in the short time I knew her. She also gave me the gift of my Brock. He get's his sense of humor and huge heart from her. I thank her for that and will miss her greatly.

 

November, We celebrated Thanksgiving as a family of four. I count my blessings daily, but it was a special day to relish all the goodness that we have in our lives. I can't even begin to describe how blessed I felt. 

& here we are. In December, and I am writing this and just shocked at how full our lives have been. Brock jokes that, "We met in 2009, started dating in 2010, got engaged and married in 2011, had a son in 2012 and a daughter in 2013. 2014 better be a quiet year." It's funny but that's how it has been for us. Fast paced but such a wonderful ride. We know that there will probably be no marriages or babies this year but I hope I can look back at the end of '14 and have this overflowing feeling I feel now.

Here's to special moments, and the people we get to spend them with! Out with the old, in with the new.

Hope everyone has a safe & happy New Year!!

Welcome to the World Sweet Hadley

I want to take a minute to record the whirlwind birth of our daughter, while it is still fresh in my mind. I am sure I will have little to no sanity left after the next few weeks.

Anyone reading this that has been in close proximity with me this pregnancy know that although I hoped and prayed this little girl would make her appearance before her due date, I secretly thought and dreaded that we would go way over like we did with her brother. At my 39 week appointment, when we made the 40 week appointment I almost couldn’t hold it together. You know how it goes, you are just beyond ready to meet the little thing you have carried for nine months. I wasn’t particularly uncomfortable this pregnancy, but I was just ready to have her in my arms. After experiencing Braxton Hicks for weeks, my body was tired and I was just game for anything. Or so I thought.

Friday October 18th, Brock and I took Hunter to Cumberland for some PF Changs. I had been craving it and thought the spicy couldn’t hurt. That evening we stopped by my mom and dads to just hang out and enjoy their company and I spent most of the night laughing. My dad has that effect on people. We went home, put Bug to bed and I poured the tiniest glass of wine known to man and jumped in the bath tub, trying to relax before bed. We went to bed, another day down. I woke up twice that night to pee, once at 3:00am and once at 6:00am. Both times I noticed a little cramping but nothing that kept me awake so  I would go back to sleep.

At 7:00am on the 19th a dream woke me up and I knew something was different. I woke Brock up and sure enough there was some fluid. I thought maybe I peed a little, but I got up and took a moved around just to see and when nothing else came out I figured it was not my water. As I was trying to get comfortable enough to go back to sleep I noticed I was having some contractions. I jumped in the shower and then started blow drying my hair, and we started timing them. They were a consistent 6 minutes apart. Sometime thereafter I noticed some pink when I went to the restroom so I figured that it was all just my mucous plug, no big deal, and that we would go on about our day. I called the midwife just to be sure it was okay to go stay at home. She said it was.

I had a nail appointment with my sister in law at 10:00 and with the okay from my midwife, I went ahead and planned to do that. I had contractions here and there but really didn’t time anything because it wasn’t enough pain to make me stop what I was doing. When we got back home, my sister in law took Hunter for the day so we could rest “just in case” this was the big day. I spent most of the day in the bath tub, which is the only thing that helped with the contractions. We did head to my Mom and Dad’s to take my mind off things for awhile. At this point it was close to 4:00 and I was starting to doubt that what I was feeling was labor. I thought maybe it was early pains but it would be days surely. We called my in laws and told them they could bring Hunter home. They did, and he went down for a nap. I continued the next couple hours on the ball, eating when I felt like it, and getting in and out of the tub. At 6:30 Hunter had been asleep for awhile and I told Brock we should wake him so he would sleep that night. He got in my bed with me and we cuddled. He was being so sweet. We spent the next couple hours being lazy, with me breathing through contractions that were still 6 minutes apart. Once again, I hopped back in the bathtub to see if I could relax a little. I quickly noticed that contractions went from 6 minutes to 3 minutes apart and I was finding it hard to breathe through them. At one point my Mom was on the phone, and one hit me and I just threw the phone a Brock and started moaning into the pillows. We called the midwife, and waited. And waited. And waited. It was probably only 15 minutes but it felt like an eternity. In the meantime we frantically started looking for someone to come stay with Hunter, Brock finished packing the car, and I lost my mind on the bed. The midwife called back, and said, “Come now.”

It hit me. We had labored ALL DAY and then, bam, come now. My sister in law got here, I kissed Hunter and we were gone. My Doula and sweet friend Val assured us she was right behind us and my parents and Brock’s mom and sister got ready to leave as well.

The drive was 45 minutes of torture. I tried to look out the window and stay calm but I was scared to death and I could tell things were happening, and happening fast. We were having a baby. Maybe not right away, but she was coming, and she was coming on her own! I couldn’t believe it! After a parking nightmare at the hospital we were checking in. I had one while we were waiting for triage and I could feel all the nurses watching me. Brock and I swayed till it passed and then we were going down the hall to triage room #4. They got a gown on me and I got on the bed. Off came the gown, I was so hot all of a sudden! She asked if she could check me, and we went over my birth plan for a few contractions. She explained I had to be monitored for 20 minutes. All of a sudden I had a contraction from hell. I yelled at Brock that I “COULD NOT” do this. I was scared, and I wasn’t going to do it. The nurse, a sweet girl names Jessica, grabbed my hand and my thigh and talked me down from the ledge. My doula made it in and we worked through a couple more hard ones and then Jessica said they had a room for me. We started down the hallway and I stopped along the way to ride another one out.

In the room, I sat down on the edge of the bed and they said they would get the tub ready. I decided to go pee before they got me all hooked up. Brock went with me and I peed, stood up and I had a contraction and all of a sudden my water broke! I screamed because I thought I had just had the baby. On the floor. In the bathroom. It was so loud and sudden. Everyone rushed in, and I could hear the nurses and midwives start getting excited. As I got back to the bed I could feel myself bearing down, (very much like having a bowel movement) and I somehow managed to tell whoever was holding me up that I felt that way. She said I was pushing and that was okay. They raised the bed and I got on my knees leaning over the back. Val kept putting cool rags on me and giving me water. I remember someone saying that we were having a baby. I thought they were lying. I thought they were trying to make me feel better. I wanted the tub. Someone told me there was no time.

After this, everything is such a blur. At this point I was contracting every minute or so and with each contraction I was pushing my baby girl out! I had no clue I was doing it, I just knew it felt better and I wanted her out! My body took over completely. They said they wanted me to turn over. The said she had hair. I started telling Brock I couldn’t do it. I told him I was too scared, and that I wasn’t doing it right. I kept apologizing for being a baby. It was completely instinctual. I moaned/screamed my way through them, gritting my teeth and gripping the pillow. Brock was always there, always telling me I WAS doing it, and that we were having our little girl. He told me “Good Job” so many times I started believing it.

We got flipped over and I pushed again. They said that was it! I was pushing her down! They could feel her. They asked if I wanted to and I said no. I wanted her out though. Funny now that I was trying to joke even then. I don’t know how many contractions we pushed. No one counted, or told me what to do, and I was glad for that. I wouldn’t have been able to listen anyways. Hadley and me knew what we were doing and we did it. It got really bad for a minute, I think she was crowning. Brock got all excited and I knew she was coming. We pushed and her head was out. I remember someone saying that it was out, and the shoulders were coming. One push later the shoulders were out and so was the rest of my little girl! They put her on my belly and I honestly can’t describe it. She was right there and so perfect! She was looking right at me, and was so beautiful! A head full of dark hair. Brock kissed me and I was in heaven. Here was my little Haddie all safe and sound and we did it together!

After maybe thirty minutes of pushing she was here. Hadley Joy Watkins was born at 11:25pm on Saturday October 19th, 2013. She was 7 lbs 6.5oz and 18 1/2 inches long. She looked incredibly, just like her big brother!

The nurse and I started cleaning her off, and they let her be. Just she and I and it was wonderful. They left her there with me until they had to take her to start working on me and it was seriously the most precious moment of my life. Brock cut the cord, and he was so proud.

I am still in shock. Looking back at the weeks I spent wondering it all happened exactly like it was supposed to. I remember reading stories of fast labors and just shrugging them off. That wouldn’t happen to me. Hunter took 28 hours and a C-Section, surely Hadley would be as stubborn!  From the time we checked in to the time she was born was only an hour and half. How crazy is that? I never had time to adjust. My body did, but my mind didn’t. Even as I was pushing out my daughter I was saying I couldn’t but I did do it! We did it together and it was everything I had ever hoped it would be! I am so proud of how my body took over and got my girl here the way it did. I was so proud of Brock, for never letting me doubt myself. & I was so proud of me! I trusted myself and I came through!

Now we are home with both babies. It is pure bliss. I look at this little girl and I am so grateful. I am more in love with Brock than I thought I could be. He amazes me with his willingness to take care of us and how in love he is with both our son, and our daughter. Hunter is amazing as well. He loves his little sister and I know he will be an amazing big brother. & then there is Hadley…

You create these tiny little beings, and you spend nine months or longer waiting to meet them. You picture their hair, and their nose, and their little smiles but nothing prepares you for meeting your children. She is everything I wanted and so much more. I love every little thing about her, from the way she keeps her tongue stuck out to the way she curls her hands up by the sides of her head to sleep. I will never forget the moments that got her here to us. Thank you Lord for your many blessings.

Embrace the Camera {{Family Photos}}

Lets be honest for awhile. It 11:50 at night, just rocked the baby to bed again. I just got the link to our most recent family photo shoot. I am in tears, both for good and bad reasons.

First off, they are beautiful. We chose to do a lifestyle session in our home. I had planned to have sunshine streaming through the windows. That was not to be. The morning dawned rainy and just ugly. We trucked on however and really did have a good time. Haddie fell asleep as the photographer (a good friend of mine, the very talented Jennifer) walked through the door. Hunter had other plans. He was a wild man. Rarely looking at the camera and althogh he is normally all over his sister, he refused to even touch her. Whatever. Moving on.

One week later and Jenn sends me the link. They are beautiful. They really do capture how in love with Hadley and life as a family of four we are. The reason for the sad tears is a silly one. I have never been happy with the way I look for one reason. It doesn't have anything to do with my weight, or how my hair looks, or whether or not my outfit is perfect. It's something that has scars that run way deeper. My smile.

I have always hated my smile. I hate my teeth, I hate how my smile makes my eyes look. I just hate it.

It may be the reason I picked up a camera and started shooting other people. Since getting married I have consistantly turned the camera around on Brock and Hunter, and now Hadley, rather than getting in the pictures myself. When looking through photos I am then saddened that I am not in any of them! & it's really all my fault.

However, do I really want my insecurities to keep me out of these precious photographs? No. Not a chance. One day I want to be sitting with the kids, poring over boxes of photographs and laughing or crying at them. Definately not crying because my kids can't find a picture of Mommy. && are they going to care how I was smiling? Nope. They will only see that I was. Pretty sure that is all that matters.

So.

How fitting that while taking a bath the other night I ran across this lovely blog on Bloglovin'. Emily has launched an initiative to {embrace the camera}! How wonderful is that? Won't you head on over and check her out as well as join in the mission to embrace the camera yourselves? I think I will work on it myself! 

& now for the photos

Thanksgiving

As cliche as it is, once again I am awed by how much I have to be thankful for. I know that thanksgiving should extend into every day of our lives but it's easy to get caught up in the real world and forget to be grateful.  I tried to not get caught up in the hustle of a traditional "thanksgiving" this year, and it really was the perfect time to do so. Most of our immediate family was out of town so we had a {friends}giving with our bible study friends and I really hope we can make that a tradition!! Thanksgiving day was pretty low key. We had some lunch with my parents, stopped by Brock's grandfathers for a little visit and ended up at home with leftover pumpkin cheesecake. At some point in our day this happened:

&& believe it or not I am thankful for that too. reminds us that life is ((real)) and too short to not enjoy the good moments!

I am perfectlly thrilled to announce that we had a tree up a week ago. Not ashamed one bit. I try to pull every last ounce of the holidays out that I can, and putting the tree up right around Thanksgiving and leaving it up until New Years is part A of that plan.

We are also excited to have these kids to plan awesome holiday traditions for and there are things we are going to do this year and things that will have to wait a few years but it is just such a joy to experience Christmas with kiddos in tow! A whole new ball game! Here are some things we are going to implement into our list of traditions:

-Want, Need, Wear, Read ((see previous post for info on that!))
-Christmas Eve Eve Movie Night: complete with snacks, new PJ's and a new Christmas movie
-Magical Nights of Life: We can check that off the list, as we went on Saturday! & had a blast!

I also have seen a few things that I cannot wait for in the future! One being the tradition of giving Haddie a silver charm each year and on her thirteenth Christmas, giving her the bracelet to put it on. How sweet is that?! I am racking my brain trying to think of something similar to do for Hunter...

Another is that each child has their own wrapping paper. A small piece is then placed in the bottom of their stocking and that's how they know what to start unwrapping! How fun is that? I feel like a little kid just thinking about watching the kids race to see whose is whose.

Any traditions you think everyone should participate in?